I'm sorry, y'all. I don't know what else to do here. Maybe somebody will impart some wisdom here and help a mama out. Because I'm at a loss.
So.
Addison pees on the toilet, no problem. No accidents in a LONG time. Her bowel movements are very consistent, once in the early afternoon and once before bedtime. But always in a diaper. Backstory: There has always been hesitation when it comes to pooping... she's suffered from some constipation issues early on, daily miralax has helped with this. But she still obviously has some hurdles to overcome. She always insisted she'd go on the toilet "when I'm 4". So, we were patient... figured that Addison is strong-willed and decisive, and would prove to us that on her fourth birthday she was ready.
Her 4th birthday came and went. She said she "didn't feel it".
The next day she had the tiniest of accidents in her panties. Very soft. Not constipation. We sit her on the toilet and she says she "can't".
The next day, same thing.
Same thing the next day. And then a HUGE poop in her panties.
I get angry. Threaten lots of bad things... she is in tears every time, saying "it hurts". I look at her bottom, it's not red, I see no sores, etc.
She has a well-check. Doctor says everything looks fine. He says we have two options: go back to a diaper until she's ready (not an option as far as Mike and I are concerned) or boot-camp style, go without panties or anything for 3 or 4 days until she's "trained". This option is easier said than done. Um... Mike and I both work. And Addison is THE MOST strong-willed child I've ever met. Not an exaggeration.
She will tell us when she needs to go, and then when she sits down, she holds it in, cries, and says it hurts.
But then she goes in her panties, we ask her if it hurt when she does this. She says no. So then it shouldn't hurt when she sits down, right?
Tonight we took a toy away from her after she had a small "accident". Told her she could get it back once she started going on the toilet. Then, for whatever reason, she told me to take her FAVORITE toy that she received on her birthday. Asked me to "babysit" her.
Um, okay? I guess?
SO WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW?
Answers to frequently asked questions:
yes, we read to her when she's on the toilet
we also let her watch videos and play games on our phones
we try to keep the mood "light"
the stools are definitely soft. not hard, no reason for it to hurt.
I'll say it again. I'm at a loss. Help?!?
2 comments:
It obviously doesn't hurt. She probably had it once where it did hurt and now she's convinced that it will hurt like that every time. Emma does this with certain things, for instance, she refuses bananas because she once bit her cheek while eating one.
I am a forceful parent, I'll admit it. I forced her to eat the banana screaming and crying, and she realized it didn't hurt, now bananas are great to her...
Poop is no banana. lol. I would try allowing her to wear a diaper, while sitting on the toilet. Allow her to go in the diaper as long as she's sitting on the toilet. Then try opening the diaper up and maybe putting it in the bottom of a potty chair, and tell her to poop in her diaper (at the bottom of the bowl?) and/or stretching the diaper across the big toilet and having her go in that. (Think cellophane toilet prank to hold it up) You can skip right to this step. See if it's just the comfort of having the diaper there that she wants, and even though this way you still have to clean up poop, you don't have to clean it off of her and one day in a "pinch" you can be "out of diapers" and see if she will go with just toilet paper in the bottom of the bowl....it's mental preparation.
I haven't had to go through this, and maybe you've already tried this, but it's what I might try...
Good luck.
Is there a certain place in the house she always has to be when she goes poop in her diaper? If so, put a little potty in that spot and see if it helps. Sarah did that with Savannah when she was potty training her and it only took her pooping in the little potty in her closet (that was her "spot") twice and then she "graduated" to the big potty. I hope that helps!
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