Friday, November 12, 2010

Addison

Well, it's time for me to be real with you guys.

Terrible Twos? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.

TERRIBLE THREES. Threes are awful.

Addison is awful.

Not all the time, but more often than occasionally.

Here's just one example of the horror that is dealing with Addison's temper tantrums. Today we were LATE (not just late, but LATE) to school because she threw a fit over the following things (not just one fit, but a combination of hysterics, making what ultimately became one giant, morning long tantrum):
Her panties. "NOT THOSE PANTIES! CINDERELLA PANTIES!"
Her clothes. "I WANT A DRESS!"
Her shoes.

Whoa. Time out. Let's visit this subject a little more. HER SHOES. I bought her some new tennis shoes earlier this week- super cute, super sparkly, Addison loves them. They have laces, not velcro. I CURSE THE LACES. Because, apparently, Addison knows how to tie shoes. This is what she tells me, anyway. And I am NOT ALLOWED to tie them. She can do it herself! She's REALLY GOOD at twisting the laces around each other over and over again! She wore them to school on Wednesday. After battling over the stupid laces while getting ready at home, I thought that once we got to school that she would let me tie them, but nope, she threw a massive fit in the parking lot at the mere suggestion of me tying her shoes. I took her to her class, explained to Ms. Carol the situation and was glad that she was the one who had to deal with tying the laces, not me. So when I went to pick Addison up, guess what? Her shoes were STILL UNTIED. "Because I can tie them myself", Addison told us. Ms. Carol said she tried, but that Addison was adamant... she could do it herself. Ms. Carol even confided in me that she was thinking that one fall or trip over her laces was probably all Addison would need to allow an adult to tie them. But of course, she didn't fall or trip once. On the playground, in movement class, nope, the laces never got in her way.

So this morning she threw a fit over the shoes. Because I told her that if she wanted to wear them that she would have to let me tie them. End of story.

The list of the awful things I expected of Addison this morning, resulting in her completely justified and rational hysterics (ha) is wrapped up with socks and hair combing.

So, pretty much everything we needed to accomplish just to get out the door was something worth melting down over. Our poor nanny. She was witness to 30 minutes of complete insanity this morning. (not the first time she's seen this side of Addison, unfortunately)

My mom said to me tonight "who's the adult?"... I guess in an effort to remind me that I have the power in these struggles. Oh, I'm aware that I have the power. That's part of what makes these outbursts so frustrating. I mean, she doesn't get away with behaving this way... she sat in time out this morning for a LONG time until she calmed down and agreed to friggin wear socks and different shoes, not the tennis shoes. That was the deal. She had to wear socks and her pink shoes. She resisted, resisted, RESISTED, and then FINALLY she settled down and wore the stupid socks and shoes. Same goes for her outfit- she threw her fit and then finally agreed to wear the outfit I chose for her. And same with her hair. When she settled down, she let me comb it- the very thing she kicked and screamed about 10 minutes earlier... me combing her hair. I did let her wear her Cinderella panties, though. It's not like it's my way or the highway all the time. I do compromise with her sometimes.

My mom also suggested I give Addison choices, letting her feel like she has some say. Yeah, I totally do that and it never works. I usually give her 3 choices: 3 shirts, 3 skirts and 3 shoes. And she still will throw a fit over a dress hanging in the closet that is nowhere near appropriate for the weather or occasion.

Man, I feel like I'm about to lose it! Like, really lose my sanity. She is testing me in more ways than one... and I feel like I'm failing!

ETA: Of course I LOVE Addison more than I ever knew was possible. And as crazy as these tantrums make me, she also does things that make me proud daily. She's a great kid. Really, she is. :-)

4 comments:

gaga said...

I was not trying to make you feel like a failure, sorry! This too shall pass......you will get through it, and overall she is a WONDERFUL child! AND YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER!

Jennifer said...

Sarah, I soooo feel you right now. I, too went through the terrible 3's with Tacie. I think because they are more verbal and trying to exert their independence. Choices did work with Tacie to a degree, but also taking things away worked too - like the shoes until she agrees to tie them. The good thing is these girls know what they want :) . It does get better...hang in there.

Andrea said...

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get out of my head! Emma is the SAME way. And some days are worse than others. I have even tried to claim that on days when she is super out of control that it was because of the sugar in the orange juice I don't always give her. ANYTHING to put the blame on. But I know it's just a phase. God please let it be a SHORT phase...lol

Mary said...

Oh the joys of being three! I feel you pain and frustration. My Ady is the same way right now. Just plain difficult!

Some suggestions we do with our girls, if you want to try them are:
Picking out clothes the night before and laying them out.
No more than two choices. (I find that any more than two makes their decision difficult to make)
Reward/consequence chart. (I can tell you more if you are interested.)

They do get past it! Thankfully. Good Luck.